The dish scrapes across the table like a foreign sound, so grating in the quiet house, and she watches with careful eyes as he stands in what she can only assume is an attempt to stifle the words, to recoil from what he’s just unleashed into the air. How is she supposed to think he’s not drawing himself back in, covering the frustrations, the pain, once again?
In the moment he grips her shoulder, she feels a heavy breath escape past her lips. Relief. She covers his hand with hers, her fingers wrapping lightly about his wrist, but she does not look at him, doesn’t break the moment by invading his privacy. “You’re not broken,” she tells him softly, wishing he could see that - how he gives up hope on himself though others haven’t - and she feels for a moment, that if she really tried, he might believe.
okay so basically beo is this really amazing ship where leo’s girlfriend dies and she’s beth’s organ donor. leo sets out to meet her and blahblahblah they become friends but not really because leo’s a real douche to her sometimes. beth can’t say anything right, and she’s not sure how she’s supposed to feeeeeeel about this organ donation thing, and eventually, they grow closer but it’s never really like… set out that they’re together or that they love each other or whatever. but later he’s gonna go join the army, and when he comes back, she’s gonna be in a relationship with someone she thinks is ~dandy and who leo thinks is a class a douchechewer.
but, HEY, leo knows melrine somehow so that’s a thing.
“so basically beo is this really amazing ship”
presumptuous.
HELEN: Is that your ex-husband’s cousin?
FAYE: No, she’s a former student—
HELEN: Tom is getting very friendly with her.
FAYE: Candice won’t recognize it.
HELEN: Are you sure? I think she’s getting friendly, too.
FAYE: She’s too drunk or not drunk enough.
FAYE: (with a sigh) Either way, if I don’t stop her from making a terrible life decision, Vincent will blame me.
“What is it?” he asks in a voice that betrays no lack of concern.
Over the past eighteen months, Faye has relearned many things. Her body responds to her commands. When she sleeps, her hand no longer drifts towards the empty space where Vincent’s once met hers. When she searches for clothing in the morning, she isn’t surprised when his jackets don’t hang where they should have. Learning to say goodbye, however, is new to her. It’s baffling to know that he is a guest in their apartment, that he won’t return after a day of work or a short stint at the grocery market.
However, voicing this is a betrayal after he has spent so much time trying to help her grow used to his absence. She has grown accustomed to lying to him, and so she shrugs her shoulder and masks a sigh for a yawn. “Nothing.” The word feels awkward on her tongue and fills the air with sharp dissonance. Neither of them are foolish enough to believe what she says, so she looks down and nods to avoid meeting his eyes. “It’s nothing.”
FAYE: You’re scaring me. Just tell me what’s wrong.
FAYE: Vinny, please.
VINNY: You don’t have to be rude to her.
FAYE: I wasn’t rude to her.
VINNY: You asked her if she really wanted a second roll, Faye.
FAYE: I’m a nurse. I was concerned about her health.
VINNY: You’re a nurse. Not a dietitian.
FAYE: Obviously, neither is she.
(phone starts ringing)
JOHN: It’s Melrine. What do I do?
ELIZA: Well, what’re you waiting for? Answer it, guv.
WALT: Don’t forget to remind her to bring me back those giant toblerones.
JOHN: Okay, okay, shh. (answers, on speaker) Hey. Mels. How’s the work retreat?
MELRINE: Ugh, awful. Arthur caught some kind of bug last minute, he’s been hugging the toilet all night. Anyway, he’s in no condition to travel so we might be home a little late. Is that okay?
JOHN: No, yeah. That’s fine. As long as he feels better.
MELRINE: Yeah, well, speaking of, I gotta go check on him and make sure he didn’t fall in the toilet.
JOHN: Okay, love you - (hangs up)
WALT: You didn’t ask about my toblerone.
JOHN: Ask her yourself.
ELIZA: Well. Arthur is certainly committing himself to the role.
JOHN: It bought us some time, at least.
ELIZA: It bought you two some time, you mean. I did my part. Caterers are done and paid for, decorations are ready. (holds up a dress) And I already got her birthday present. What have you got?
WALT: (shrugs) I don’t believe in presents. The foundation of gift giving is reciprocity and I would rather not engage myself in —
ELIZA: Blah blah blah - so what do we think of the dress, John?
JOHN: (hisses) Well. It’s very…nice. It’s sparkly.
WALT: He’s being generous. It looks like Edward Cullen shed skin, gobbled it up and vomited it out with an expensive price tag. Return it.
and this has been hard enough on you
i know it’s been hard enough on me
been telling myself that i can roll with the changes (x)
You’re very lucky to have him, they would all say. And that was the problem, wasn’t it? Melrine didn’t really feel good. She felt lucky. She moved the word around in her head, like a mint in her mouth, the electric thrum of it followed by the familiar wash of dread. She wished she could feel like she deserved the things she had - instead, they seemed like a Fruit of the Month delivered to the wrong house but opened, nevertheless, and eaten. If luck could be so randomly bestowed, couldn’t it just as randomly be snatched away? How long would she have to wait til someone came along and took it all away from her?
Even as a child, she didn’t want someone who was average. And she grew up, wanting and needing for a love that would be overwhelming, that would make a wind-blown leaf of her, a runaway wheel. She would walk barefoot through the streets and howl if that’s what love brought her to. In a way, she’d loved John before she even met him. Even before, she owned him; in her visual, her imaginary possession, more real than real.
He and I, it’s something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn’t last
Loved him so but I let him go
Cause I knew he’d never love me back#that awkward moment when you find yourself super-invested in someone else’s story that you only found by stalking the tag of one of the PBs and then you kind of maybe stalk it every day and link Laine to everything and sit around saying LET ME DIE #uh so good work you three #because you’ve got a couple randoms rolling around screaming about POOR ARTHUR and OMG JOHN and aghajksjs MELRINE and trying to work out the chronology and… yeah… slinking back into the ground but A+
#POOR ARTHUR # OMG JOHN # AGHAJKSIS MELRINE
